TZ puts out (a blog)

At my suggestion, Tom blogged his 9/17/05 victory. Go check out his
Chaotic Ramblings.

Hey, Tom, you didn't check to me on the key hand. I was big blind; I acted before you post-flop and bet $4K right off the bat. Don't make it sound like you were luring me in with some crafty slow-play shit. lol

Payouts

Just so nobody can bitch about it again, here's the payout schedule.

With up to 6 players, winner take all.
7 players - winner gets $120, 2nd place gets $20.
8 players - winner gets $140, 2nd place gets $20.
9 players - winner gets $140, 2nd place gets $40.
10 players - winner gets $140, 2nd place gets $40, 3rd place gets $20.

If you think of each $20 as a single point, this is how the pattern looks as a matrix:

         1st   2nd   3rd
1player   1
2players  1
3players  1
4players  1
5players  1
6players  1     0
7players  0     1
8players  1     0     0
9players  0     1     0
10players 0     0     1

If, hypothetically, we could just scale up the number of players, the pattern would extend:

         1st   2nd   3rd   4th   5th
11players 1     0     0     0
12players 0     1     0     0
13players 0     0     1     0
14players 0     0     0     1
15players 1     0     0     0     0
16players 0     1     0     0     0
17players 0     0     1     0     0
18players 0     0     0     1     0
19players 0     0     0     0     1

Hope that makes sense to everyone. There has to be a big incentive to be last man standing. Everything else is a consolation prize in comparison.

Texas hold'em -- September 17, 2005

8 players, clockwise from 1st deal: me, Craig, Ken, Clint, Tom, Frenchy, Nathan, Dave.

Jonathan decided to continue his reign as drama queen by refusing to play anymore because he'd been "robbed" last game. Ken even offered to just give him $20, but he'd much rather whine and cry about how unfair it is, and how he's never won when he should be reaping a windfall every month. Cue the violins. Jonathan painted a big bullseye on himself, and everyone obliged by making him the butt of running jokes all night long.

After a couple of hands, Clint remembered and brought up the idea of putting a bounty on Ken's head. I think we'll make it a standard -- anyone who wins two or more times consecutively gets a bounty put on them by the other players to try to break the streak. Clint, Frenchy, Tom, Nathan and I put in $2 apiece and whomever among us managed to bust Ken out would collect the $10 bounty. Since Dave and Craig didn't put in, they weren't eligible to collect. Ken obviously couldn't get in on the action, but in the future, I think it would be fair for the target to collect the bounty on top of normal winnings if he manages to be last man standing.

Quote of the night:
A bunch of the guys play World of Warcraft (WoW) and manage to bring it up several times each game. It gets tiresome for the non-WoWers, but what the hell. Tonight though, someone called for a ban on WoW talk and Nathan threw out this gem of WoW chatter mimicry, "Can you make me some leather pants?"

Damn, I really played for shit early on. Got taken for (relatively) big pots by Ken and Tom -- not a good sign.

By the 9:20 mark, Dave had played some good hands and pulled down big pots to take chip lead.

Frenchy didn't push his pocket bullets hard enough, letting too many people stay in the action. It bit him on the ass when Clint's weak hand drew a pair to make trip 7's.

Another bad sign for me: the flop gives me a high straight and everyone else has crap so they fold when I dangle a meek $40 bet. Collecting nothing but blinds and blind calls on a monster hand like that...

Ken vs Tom with a pair J's showing. They bet heavy to the showdown, Tom coming out on top with J's and [can't remember].

Just after the 10pm no-limit point, I went all in and doubled up big against Ken with a 9-K straight on the flop.

Dave finished off Ken, filling out his 5's over 9's boat on the river to beat Ken's trip 9's. Oh, the poetic irony of it. Ken is the one who usually gets the birthday present on the river, all the while betting as if he already had the nuts.

Since Dave hadn't put up bounty money, he wasn't eligible to collect, so we decided it was a push and everyone got their $2 back.

Craig makes his move with a $1K bet, but unfortunately for him I'd just made 2 pair K's+5's on the river, so I went all in over the top. He called and busted out.

Around 10:40, Tom puts up his first all-in of the night and everyone folds. On the next hand though, Nathan goes all in holding 2-7 straight, but Tom's flush on the flop wipes him out.

Then, the key hand of the night, at least from my point of view. I'm sitting on big blind (200) holding 43 offsuit. Tom calls, as do one or two others. The flop comes up 322 rainbow. I've got a pretty strong hand and chip lead, so I try to bully everyone with a $4K bet. Tom, without hesitation, goes all in. Others fold. At this point, I run the scenarios: has he got bullets or another monster pair? no, or he would have raised preflop; has he got the 2? no, he wouldn't have come in holding that shit. So I called. We turn up and the bastard has A2 suited, about the only hand including the 2 that you might stay in on. Tom doubles up to about $30K and now I'm in serious trouble. A huge mistake on my part for not considering that possibility and trying to bully everyone with my stack.

Clint took out Frenchy with A's+7's, but after that, it was pretty much all TZ. Tom ground it out against Dave, who had made a similar error against Frenchy a few hands ago and lost most of his stack in a definite fold situation. I'd even told him to fold (which I shouldn't have done; no one should be giving advice or tips during a hand).

Clint had to make a move and went all in on pocket tens. Tom drew 2 pair on the river to wipe him out. Down to Tom and me, it was a foregone conclusion. He had too big a chip count advantage -- I'd have had to double up at least 3 times just to reach parity. So my last-ditch all in was on a shit hand (86 suited) and Tom beat me.

I got 2nd place and my $20 back. Tom got 1st and $140 -- his first win since July 2004.

Texas hold'em -- August 27, 2005

Normally, we don't allow wives, girlfriends, women in general to join our monthly ritual, but tonight we made an exception for Shelly Zielinski. She'd just graduated from an advanced nursing program and Tom wouldn't have been able to make it otherwise.

Nine players, clockwise from 1st deal: Jonathan, Won, Frenchy, Ken, Clint, Shelly, Tom, Sam, Nathan.

As play began, someone brought up payout amounts. Unfortunately, Clint stated "top 3" while my attention was elsewhere, and everyone took Clint's word as gospel. This would cause trouble later.

Shelly called Sam to a showdown and "overturned" his boat. Shelly's J's over 2's beat Sam's 2's over J's, with a pair of J's and a 2 on the board.

Just past the no-limit mark, with 4 diamonds showing, Ken goes all in. Frenchy feels the pressure and folds. Instead of just mucking his hand, Frenchy turns up and shows he was holding Jd. Just to spite him, Ken shows that he had Td as he rakes in the pot.

Clint had been getting his drink on and by 10:30, he was doing Peter Griffin (from the show Family Guy) impressions -- "I'm drunk" and singing "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey. Painful.

At around 10:45, Tom became 1st to bust out when he went all in against Clint. Clint's 2 pair A and 6 held up.

Nathan goes all in after the flop against Ken. Ken calls. They turn up -- Ken has cowboys, Nathan has bullets. Nathan's bullets hold and he doubles up.

Next hand though, Ken makes chicken soup out of chicken shit by doubling up against Jonathan with a weak ass hand. Ken has chip lead by this point.

Ken all in vs Shelly. Shelly has Ken beat until the river when a 9 fills out his boat. "Sit down!"

Sam makes his move but gets busted out by Jonathan's K's and J's.

I had been steadily bleeding my chips away and finally busted out to Ken.

With Clint, Ken and Jonathan left in the game and blinds at 500/1000, Clint doubles up on Jonathan when he manages to draw full boat on the river, sneaking up and mugging Jonathan's flush.

At 11:45, Jonathan goes out against Ken. Thinking that he'd at least broke even by making 3rd place, he said as much. I corrected him by stating the correct payouts for 9 players -- winner gets $140, 2nd gets $40. That's it. 3rd only breaks even when we have 10 players. Frenchy backed me up. Bitterly disappointed, Jonathan whined that he would have played harder for 2nd place if he'd known. I felt a little bad since it was partially my fault for never having documented the payout schedule, but shit happens.

Down to Ken and Clint, blinds went to 4000/8000, Ken played well and just kept getting the cards he needed all night. He kept whittling Clint down and finally got the win.

Texas hold'em -- July 16, 2005

6 players tonight. Clockwise around the table starting with 1st deal: Tom, Ken, Frenchy, Clint, Nathan and myself. Jonathan ducked out and Craig has been MIA since his car broke down; Frenchy said he hasn't shown up at the dojo for the last month either. It's time to open it up to fresh blood. As far as past players go -- haven't heard from John Jones in forever; Steve Rankin, by his own admission, has no hand and can't get permission from his wife; John Roach only plays occasionally; my brother Victor and Sam Straight live in Ann Arbor; Eric Stark doesn't seem interested. We need at least a couple new guys.

Back to our regular format after last month's fiasco.

Nathan and Frenchy took early chip leads. As we've all come to expect, the early game lets everyone relax, bullshit and settle into their groove. There's usually not enough chips in the pot to matter over the long haul, so everyone gets to stay in even on marginal hands.

I played loose early, intending to change up to tighter play later. I managed to frenchy Frenchy with A-K to his A-Q.
[Getting "frenchied" means to get beaten by the lowest possible hand that beats yours. The term arose early on in our game's history, and every time we get together, someone invariably gets "frenchied", to the endless amusement of all.]

By the time we hit the no-limit mark, I was down a couple thousand, but I had also won a hand with the Hammer (2-7 off-suit) by bluffing big when everyone had checked. At that point, Frenchy and Ken had pretty good chip leads while the rest of us were struggling.

On a flush draw, Clint and Ken locked horns and neither backed down. They kept raising over several rounds until finally Ken bet enough to put Clint all-in at the showdown. Ken had the flush with 9-10 suited; Clint mucked his hand, confessing later that he had pushed his suited 8 too hard and had gotten caught in a bluff gone bad.

Nathan started strong on the night but kept having to fold as the blinds increased. Nathan went all in and got burned when Tom landed the gutshot straight 7 to J when 8 came up on the river. Adding insult to injury, Tom had played a shitty 7-3 hand only because he was big blind and no one raised pre-flop.

Tom had been getting shit for cards all night. With a few thousand left, he doubled up successfully once, but was forced to go all-in again against Ken's ace-high straight on the flop.

I was hurting from having to fold quite a few 1000/2000 blinds. I had doubled up against Frenchy a couple of hands earlier. This time, Frenchy said "No-uh-uh" to my all-in desperation ploy, busting me out with undisguised, unmitigated glee.

With Ken and Frenchy in heads-up and approximately equal chip stacks, they traded blinds for awhile. Frenchy couldn't hold out against Ken's incredible ability to turn a shit hand into gold on the river. Ken won and took home the $120 kitty.

I think tonight makes Ken's 3rd win -- his first since last October.

Texas hold'em -- June 25, 2005

Ugh, not pretty. I wanted to hit a party that Maia was throwing for Fred Spademan's birthday, so I changed our usual format. Started at 50/100 blinds with no limit right away. We also started at 8pm instead of 8:30. I intended play to be faster and to wrap the game up earlier, but the guys ended up feeling like they got shorted play time and that it wasn't worth the $20 buy-in.

6 players tonight. Clockwise around the table starting with 1st deal: Ken, Frenchy, Clint, Jonathan, myself and Tom. Craig was supposed to be there, but his car died.

No white, red or blue chips in play and starting chips per player at $9500.

Action escalated early, as you would expect. Frenchy busted out, then I got busted out by Ken with an ace-high hand, then Jonathan and Ken went out. Down to Clint and Tom in heads-up play. They went back and forth until blinds were up to 4000/8000, I think. It looked like Tom was going to pull it off for a while there, but Clint came back with several strong hands and cleaned him out.

Clint got the whole kitty, making this his first win since he joined the game in February. Then we took off to Maia's party, where Jonathan and Ken also eventually ended up.

Royal Flush odds

The odds against a royal flush being dealt from the first 5 cards of a standard 52 card deck:
649740 to 1

The odds against a royal flush being dealt as community cards in a 10-man game of Texas hold'em where there is a card burned before the flop, turn and river:
676812 to 1

Texas hold'em -- May 21, 2005

Wow. Can't believe I pulled it out. I was shortstacked early on after betting heavy into 2 pairs aces+jacks and then getting blindsided by Craig's flush -- I wasn't paying enough attention to the game. That must have woke me up though.

Crazy item #1
Never seen so many flushes in my life. We'll usually see one or two flushes in a night; tonight we were definitely into double digits, maybe 14 or 15 of them. Trips will usually carry the day; they kept getting rocked by flushes tonight.

Crazy item #2
Jonathan was dealer. I think he flopped the ace, king and jack, suited. Most had gotten out of the hand by the time the queen and ten, same suit, came up. Royal fucking flush! Most of us have seen a royal flush come up in a real game maybe once, if ever, and Jonathan dealt one tonight.

Crazy item #3
Everyone was still in the game at 11pm. We start pot-limit, then go no-limit at 10pm. Even with all the early action, no one busted out until nearly the point when we're usually down to just the top three or heads-up play.

10 players tonight. Clockwise around the table starting with 1st deal: Clint, John Roach, me, Ken, Craig, my brother Dan, Jonathan, Frenchy, Nathan (who hosted), and Tom

A lot of guys were playing fast and loose early on. We deviated from our usual blind progression and stayed with 5/10 blinds for a full circuit of the deal. Even with pot-limit in place, there were some big bets and a lot of chips changed hands in the first hour.

After everyone had dealt once, we upped the blinds to 10/20 and then went to our usual timed blind progression: increase each blind to the next higher denomination chip every 20 minutes. After hitting the highest chip, 1000, blinds simply double.

The looseness of the game and losing that big hand to Craig made me play very conservatively. I folded a lot of hands and stayed out of the way when betting got heavy. I took a couple of chump-change hands, but not nearly enough to make up the ground I'd lost.

Can't remember the exact order of who busted out and who did it to them, but Jonathan, Frenchy, Ken and John went out between 11:15 and 11:45. Clint had won some big hands and had clear chip lead. Nathan was also doing well; Dan, Tom and Craig were up and down. I started taking some chances and took down some decent pots. The game began to turn around for me. After Dan busted out, I took the key hand of the night.

With blinds at 1000/2000, Nathan and Tom both decided to go all-in preflop. Nathan had about 8K; Tom 10K. I was holding pocket 4s and had already called the blind, but hesitated at throwing in another 8000 to call Tom. Gut feeling told me it was worth losing that much on the chance of taking them out of the game, so I finally did call their bets. To the turn, both of them had me beat, but I caught a 4 on the river to take the hand. It'll be a while before those guys forgive me.

After that, I ground it out against Craig and Clint. Craig was very shortstacked at that point so he took 3rd and got his $20 buy-in back. Clint and I traded blinds for a while. At 4000/8000, we both got a playable hand. I had ace, something. Flop came up ace, ace, something. I think Clint checked, so I checked. 4th street was no help, but Clint made a move by betting 4000. I raised enough to put him all-in and he called. The trip aces held up for me. Clint got $40 of the kitty and I got the remaining $140.

Including tonight, I've won 4 out of the last 6. I won in December, January, March and May. Craig won in February and April. I'm taking a lot of ribbing about the game being fixed; I'm pretty sure most of it's good-natured bullshit, but I'm worried that one or two of the guys might actually be getting frustrated or might not be having as much fun.

It's nice to win, but I was still having a blast March through November 2004 when I hadn't won at all. I still attribute my wins a lot more to luck than any particular skill on my part, so this hot streak can't last. We'll see.

Play it out, baby.